Explaining Death to Little Ones

One of the hardest parts for us in losing a baby to miscarriage was explaining it to our younger children - namely Grace and Tyler. We didn't need to say anything to Isabella because she is too young to really understand. Kian and Christian are mature enough to know what was going on so we kept them in the loop as we went to the hospital to find out what was going on. I knew that Grace and Tyler were anxiously awaiting the arrival of the new baby. They were already planning on the things that they would teach the baby and how they were going to help feed, dress, and play with it. That is one of the reasons it was hard to tell them. The other was that they don't have a good grasp on what death means yet. So how do you communicate death to little ones? Here is what I told them.

I told Tyler that his baby brother (we didn't find out the gender, he just wanted a baby brother) was so cute, that Jesus just couldn't wait and took him straight to heaven. Then I told him that someday when he goes to heaven a little boy will run up to him grab his hand and say, "Hi Tyler, I have been waiting for you. I'm your little brother." Then he would lead him around and show him the best places to play. This put a big smile on his face. I basically told Grace the same story except it was a little girl instead of a little boy.